


Tired

by Infinite_Infinite



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jane is tired, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Patterson is the best girlfriend, non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinite_Infinite/pseuds/Infinite_Infinite
Summary: She wakes to the humming of the shower and the sound of poorly-stifled sobs coming from the bathroom, and quietly pads her way over to the door, nudging it open."Oh Jane," is all she can think to say.OR// the one in which Jane has nightmares and Patterson refuses to let them get to her.





	Tired

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just caretaker fluff because I feel like I'm dying and I project onto Jane way too often for it to be healthy.

Drowning. 

Thick onyx seeps through her nose and mouth, filling her lungs, choking her. She tries to scream. Nothing comes out. 

She's underwater, memories of times in the NYO shimmering above the surface. She tries to reach for them, but something is dragging her down, deeper and deeper into the depths of darkness. Above her she can hear the gargled voices of the team calling out to her, screaming for her to help. She can't save them. She can't fight. 

Her body falls into the inky abyss below her and a silent scream is forced from her mouth. The ground is getting closer. Closer. Closer-

 

Jane wakes with a start, breathing in a strangled gulp of air. Beside her, Patterson is still sleeping soundly, soft breaths tumbling from her mouth.   
Tears start to spill down Jane's cheeks and she barely muffles a sob before she's staggering out of bed and towards the bathroom, her limbs sluggish and uncooperative. The light burns her eyes, but she doesn't care. She pushes the door shut as lightly as she can force herself to, and sinks to the floor, hands and arms and legs shaking violently. She can't breathe. It all comes back. 

She covers her mouth with one hand, the other pulling at her hair. Her knees fold into her chest and she curls up, trying to make herself as small as possible. More sobs are forced down by the palm over her mouth and her cheeks sting from the salty tears. She wants it all to stop. The bathroom light is too bright, the sounds of the city are too loud. She feels wrong, her clothes feel wrong against her skin so she strips down, leaving her shaking in her underwear. The nightmares still cling to her. She needs to wash them away- wash them off. 

The whirring of the shower makes her head spin, the steam making her dizzy. She doesn't turn it off. She doesn't bother to strip the rest of her clothes and clambers into the tub with shaky legs, hugging her knees to her chest under the heavy thrum of water. It's icy cold. It gets in her eyes but she can barely feel it, too focused on the fear that was dripping off of her, swirling down the drain. Tremors wrack her body, shaking her, rattling her entire being, and she can't hide her sobs any longer. 

They tumble from her mouth one after the other in a barrage of pain and tears. Maybe the nightmares washing off of her will take her tattoos with her. She can only hope. Pointless wishes on hopeless events. 

There's a soft knock on the bathroom door. 

"Jane?" 

She'd woken Patterson. Another wave of guilt washes over her, staining her skin like the tattoos that blanket the planes of her body. 

"I'm- I'm okay-" she chokes out, and her voice breaks. She knows Patterson is unconvinced. 

The bathroom door eases open and Patterson pads in, her socked feet silent on the tiles. "Oh, Jane," she whispers, slowly approaching the trembling woman. She holds her arms out like she's calming a scared animal, Jane shrinks away from her. 

"I- I can't- it won't go away," Jane bleats, and Patterson's heart shatters. "I can't get it off me- I can't- I-" 

Patterson takes another step forward, kneeling beside the tub. "Shh, it's okay, it's okay. Can I touch you?" 

Jane nods weakly, her large doe eyes heavy with fear and exhaustion. Patterson carefully places a hand on Jane's back, rubbing it up and down. Frowning at the temperature of the water that hammers against the back of her hand, Patterson sighs softly. 

"You're freezing. Let's get you out of those cold clothes, yeah?" 

Another nod. Patterson turns the temperature up on the shower and then turns to Jane, lifting her to her feet and oh-so-carefully peeling the soaked material off of her body, as if she would break if Patterson did anything else. She strips off her own clothes and steps into the tub with Jane, gently pulling her under the warm water. 

"It's not coming off," Jane whimpers, eyes downcast. "I can't get it off me- please get it off me- I-" 

"Hey," she interrupts, "It's alright. I'm here, I'm here,"

Patterson picks up her bottle of body-wash and squeezes some of it out into her palm, lathering it up in her hands.

"Let me wash it off," she says softly, taking one of Jane's arms and running her palm up it, bubbles forming on Jane's golden skin. She had an inkling as to what 'it' was- she had felt the same way after Borden. Hands all over her, crawling over her skin. She'd scrubbed herself raw in the shower, too-hot water burning her skin and turning it an angry red.

Her gentle hands run gently down Jane's body, leaving bubbles in their wake. She rubs her warm palms over the expanse of Jane's back, tracing between her shoulder blades and down her spine, curving round to her abdomen. She traces tattoos with her fingers and makes new patterns alongside them, each touch as gentle as the last. 

Jane's trembling body relaxes slowly, tears washing away under the spray of the shower. She holds Patterson closely, face buried in the crook of her neck.

"There. All gone," Patterson murmurs, pressing a gentle, closed-mouth kiss on Jane's shoulder. Jane smiles. "It's all off now," 

Jane makes a small appreciative noise in the back of her throat. "Thank you," she whispers, scared that if she spoke any louder her voice would break. 

Patterson holds her with the gentleness of bone china, whispering sweet nothings that get lost in the hum of the shower. "Let's get you dried off," 

 

With Jane bundled in one of Patterson's old hoodies and her hair slightly damp, Patterson eases herself back into bed, a clean pair of sleep shorts and a sheer t-shirt covering her body. She pats the mattress beside her in a form of beckoning, holding her arms out. Jane crawls in beside her, resting her head on Patterson's shoulder and intertwining their legs. 

"I'm sorry I woke you," Jane murmurs. Patterson can _feel_ the guilt in her voice- she hates it. 

Placing one hand under Jane's chin, she lifts her face so that the two of them are eye to eye. "Hey, don't apologise. I would much rather you wake me up than let yourself suffer on your own, okay? You're not alone, Jane. You're never alone," 

Jane starts to tear up again, a wet smile gracing her lips. "Thank you," she breathes, holding the blonde closer than before. She buries her face into Patterson's shoulder and tangles her fingers into her shirt, gripping like she'd never let go. 

Patterson strokes Jane's hair softly, carding her fingers through the inky waves. "I'm always here for you, Jane. Always," she whispers into the dark, pressing a kiss to the top of Jane's head. 

"I love you,"

 


End file.
